Why Words Matter

This post is going to have a bit of a different flavor.

It should be pretty obvious at this point that I love Magic.  It’s an escape when things get too stressful at my teaching job.  Mechanics test the logical side of my brain the same way chess did in high school.  The storyline keeps me engaged through the card art and stories posted in Uncharted Realms.  Best of all, it’s let so many amazing people into my life through the playing and judging community (at least half of my friend circle plays or judges Magic on the regular).

Magic has even saved my life, but that’s a story for another time.  This is about the words we use when playing Magic and how they affect the environment around us.

At this point I’ve been playing Magic for close to four years. I jumped in the deep end and started with Commander (which was EDH at the time).  It was fun because everyone’s deck had a theme, and while I often lost games, I died in a different way almost every time.  I enjoyed the variety; coming up with a new theme every week or so and throwing a deck together around it was a blast.

Then I went to my first FNM, was handed a GW humans deck during Phyrexia/Innistrad block and there was no going back.  My EDH play group was fun but not super competitive.  Standard was competitive and that made it even more fun.  I didn’t grow bored waiting for a player’s infinite combo to go off or have to sit through four other players’ turns.  I had to think a lot more about how I played things and when I played things.

I was hooked.

But the overall attitude was very different.  The game store I played Commander at averaged about twenty players each night the league was going on.  The game store I went to for standard averaged 70 people for an FNM.  The number alone was intimidating the first few weeks but as I got to know more people at the store it got easier.  There were a lot of friendly faces and a lot of people helped me learn how to play my deck better (like not playing five creatures on the board when Day of Judgment was a legal card).

The first weeks were frustrating but fun.  I had to completely change how I played Magic but I began to adapt to the quicker round structure and faster games.  I even started winning a few and that only served to increase my drive to get better.

There was another big change:  I was one of two or three girls playing in a field of sixty or more Magic players.  My Commander play group had almost as many lady Magic players as men so the gender disparity being so large struck me as odd.

Then I got smacked in the face with one of the reasons why more women weren’t playing with me.

I sat down across from my opponent and introduced myself.  One of his friends was sitting next to him and he blurted out something like the following:  “Man, you get to play a girl.  I hope you don’t lose.  That would be embarrassing!”

I physically recoiled back from the statement I was so shocked.  What did my gender have to do with my playing ability?  I also felt, not for the first time, that I was suddenly the representative of women Magic players, and that if I lost, it somehow meant that all women were bad at Magic.  It didn’t matter that I was still very new to Standard; it didn’t matter that neither of these guys knew my ability to play Magic.  I had been reduced down to my gender and was somehow made less because of it.  I had been equated to being a less capable player and that a loss to me would somehow be embarrassing.

I really wanted to win that match, but I lost.

I felt awful, like I had somehow let people down.  The gloom was strong enough that I left that FNM early and didn’t play FNM for about a month after that.  The whole experience had left a sour taste in my mouth and I honestly considered not going back, all because someone decided something about me without knowing me.

I did eventually go back.  I was determined to get better and I have.  I don’t have a natural affinity for the game that some players have but I began to find the colors that I could play best and the kind of deck I’m best with.  I put in the work, began to go to bigger events, and playtested in my free time.  I got better and I could be counted in with an average, good Magic player.

But to several male players, especially at large events, my playing ability still didn’t matter.  How did I know?  Here’s a sampling of the comments I heard while playing:

“Did your boyfriend teach you to play?  I’ve never seen a girl play Magic before.  Do you have a boyfriend?  Do you want to grab coffee later?  Man, I get to play against the cutest player in the room, I’m so lucky!  Well, this is going to be easy.  I’m surprised your husband lets you play (I’m not married).  What’s a pretty thing like you playing a complicated game like this?”

I could go on, but you get the idea.

I’ve had players refer to their cards (which usually depict a female character) as bitches, sluts, whores, and hoes. A friend, who is married, had a player write his number in the notebook she keeps score in without asking for it.  I’ve been there while that same friend has been hit on so much that it got to the point I had to step in to dissuade the man from following us to our car.

These experiences all happened while I was player.  I thought they would end when I became a judge.

My very first night judging, I had a player demand that he wanted ‘a real judge’ with the feeling that he didn’t like my call because I was ‘a girl.’

I even had someone question my staffing for a GP because of gender.

I haven’t even touched on the things I’ve heard said about race, sexuality, and mental capability.

Recent decisions not related to Magic prompted me to write this for several reasons but the point I’m most trying to get across is this:  my gender does not make me less of a person.  It does not mean that my inherent capability to play or judge this game is any less.  And it certainly doesn’t affect my ability to judge in the least.

As a player or as a judge, be aware of the power behind your words.  You can either build someone up or tear someone down with what you say.

Be the reason someone wants to play Magic.

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33 thoughts on “Why Words Matter

  1. This is a fucking great post. I mean, it’s horrible the way that women are treated in the magic community, but the way you’ve phrased and explained it is simple, hard hitting, and I hope that at least a few dumbass passively mysogenistic geekboys read this and question their behavior.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i mean, it’s a white male nerd hobby, we, as a community have issues with basic hygiene. Complex issues of intersectional feminism/gender/racial equality, are worlds away. That being said, it’s up to all of us who might consider ourselves “good mtg players” to not just casually accept sexism, racism, or bad attitudes in our gaming communities but speak out/do something about it. Also, while there is a lot of bad, there are embers of hope out there. Sometimes the trick is acknowledging that there’s a lot of shit people in the community, while seeking the tiny islands of adult and respectable individuals.

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  3. I’ve noticed something similar while playing with my girlfriend in a local shop. She has just beat me and a guy asked if i let her do so. Dude,no. She beat me in a game of magic while we both tried our best. Simple as that. Why do i need to explain that?

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  4. so next time grow a pair and say something instead of whining about it on the internet… this is exactly the type of shit that creates these stereotypes and no amount of neckbeards apologizing to you is going to make a difference, ever…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. that’s exactly what she did.

      She went out, got better, became a JUDGE, then JUDGED a GP.

      whining about neckbeards isn’t going to make a difference. But clearly doing something about it hasn’t changed anything either, because those neckbeards are still doing it, even though she keeps doing exactly what you’re suggesting, and overcoming each step of the way.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, it is a rough world. Boys and young men are somewhat like a pack of wolves, driven by their hormons. They love to test their strenght against each other in a multitude of ways (magic being one of them for some) making friends and rivals along the way.
    Now all of a sudden, you come in. Like prey for the young wolves or an angel for the seeking. You might laugh at that, but it takes some willpower in that age I assume those opponents of yours were, to stay calm.
    So it is no wonder that didn’t happen every time. On the other hand, their behavior is quite a natural one and I’d say: Boys and young men somewhat need this kind of expirience in their life and need an outlet for it. Other sports have men and women seperated all the time. You never play against a girl in football, and that is probably for the best.

    But relax: Their seemingly malice is fueled by adoration for your kind. Imagine instead you are a fat kid or unpopular for some other reason: You get even more smack talk and the malice comes from contempt, so not only are women the only one to recieve smack talk, other groups get even more.

    In a way this is maybe a healthy dose of real life, where people ain’t angels and fate strikes you down even if you’ve been nice. Maybe you can use these expiriences to get tougher, more thick skinned and maybe you learn to retaliate. Then you can hang with the pack. They you also can win through in real life.

    The other option is simple: Just don’t hang out with males in this age. It has nothing to do with MTG, it is their process of growing up, don’t blame them.

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    1. This is just an extension of the “boys will be boys” argument. It is a completely unacceptable excuse for completely unacceptable behavior. I am male, I have the same hormones, I have the same competitive drive to be the best in the room. Yet, I have zero temptation to engage in sexist behavior.

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      1. I am male too, I am old enough now (35, married, 4 kids) and I am not such a liar to deny that I wasn’t always the nicest person to everyone in my younger days. There were no women around with our MTG community, still there also was discrimination at times. The same was true in my football team, which were completely different people.
        I say: let boys be boys. That surely means also showing them their limits, but I feel there should also be a limit to the response they evoke.
        Some people here seem so fevorous, you get the feeling they want to ban a young human being for life, just because they said some stupid things in their youthful hybris.
        Do you really think those boys hate women? Let’s stay level headed I say. It is not needed to write articles about inappropriate language among boys.

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    2. whoosh, the point flies over your head.

      1. Please do not justify sexism via biological determinism

      2. You are literally the problem this article is trying to address

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 1. But I just did. How about giving a real arguement to refute the point? And no, you claiming to be different proves nothing.

        2. I think you are more of a problem than me. I argued with reason and to the point. You attack me personally without even knowing who I am. I nevered belittled a woman playing against me, since that happened so seldomly in the days I went to shops to play (15+ years ago).
        I just try to explain why these things happen, that it is not the fault of the writer of the article, that it doesn’t even happen to only women and that it seems to be part of the regular development of homo sapiens. That is to have youthful hybris and sometimes bad manners.
        I feel the responses here are sometimes of the same quality, as shown with your post. You are probably not very mature yourself and are just doing the same as the boys in the text, just a bit more sophiaticated. Ironic, isn’t it?

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      2. Exactly. “Boys will be boys” is an explanation but the post isn’t seeking an explanation. It’s about awareness going forward. Cause doesn’t validate effect either. You can argue severity, but because OP is looking at the atmosphere it’s about the collective not the weight of any one incident. How is an inclusive hobby supposed to jump the demographic hurdle if everyone dismisses it?

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    3. Nope nope nope. Age is no excuse to be an asshole. I am a man and in my early twenties and am not nor have I ever been a sexist prick because of my hormones. I’ve made bad decisions but I never tried to be like “oh I was young and wasn’t thinking with the right head.” I manned the fuck up and admitted my mistake and bettered myself. We can’t allow this idea of “boys will be boys” to be a legitimate excuse for people to be shitty. She shouldn’t have to endure or quit a hobby she loves because us nerds don’t know how to appropriately deal with women.

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    4. You say “let boys be boys” and yes, that’s fine and good– let them explore what it means to become a young, responsible, respectful adult within a safe space. But do not “let boys be assholes.” If your reasoning is that it’s okay for boys or men to engage in this kind of behavior as a way of discovering what it means to be male, then I argue this is precisely the time and place to help them learn that being male does not include being a bigot; that being a man means respecting everyone regardless of gender or race; that being a man does not mean belittling women.

      The responses and viewpoints of the groups with which we self-identify and in which we choose to participate, whether explicit or implicit, are powerful things that shape identity and behavior, especially for younger people. Perhaps if it had been made clearer that this type of thing is not good, not okay, for you when you were younger, you would not now hold the skewed opinions on interactions between men and women that you continue to propagate.

      You have a problem with OP writing an article about it, but one of the primary problems with this type of opinion or behavior is the lethargy of good people when confronted with it. It’s exhausting to continually fight the good fight alone, to try to explain to someone why opinions like yours are wrong and hurtful. OP relayed several instances where she confronted this type of behavior either overtly or subtly, and nothing changed, no one supported her or pointed out to the guy why his behavior or remarks were inappropriate. Silence can be a way of condoning or at least passively accepting this kind of misogyny. And it’s exhausting to confront it on your own over and over again (which often only results in you being labeled the bitch with a chip on her shoulder) saying the same things to deaf ears, trying to explain why it is NOT okay to ever be an asshole, regardless of age, gender, or the company in which you find yourself.

      Stopping this kind of illogical and sexist behavior has to begin with members of the community telling each other that it is not okay–to override the silence. That’s exactly what she is doing with this article.

      I hope young Magic players who are teetering on the cusp of falling to the dark side read this article and the comments and see that no, a large part of the community does not condone this behavior, it’s not right, and they shouldn’t engage in it. And that becoming a decent human being in the Magic community, and in the rest of life, means treating women like humans and equals, not “prey” or “angels”.

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  6. Felt bad when my store had some female and younger kids getting discouraged because of douche bags.

    I just want to play some EDH or a few fun matches with standard or w/e we can make for fun. But most just want to trade and scoff when I say no I don’t trade anymore. Because I watched a guy legit pick out cards from a kids freshly opened packs and traded for the worst of cards. Tried to say don’t do it but the kid and parent sitting there felt it was a nice trade. To be honest I love magic but I can only play Hearthstone right now since I know I won’t get cheated there like I’ve seen in Magic.

    Magic tends to be filled with a lot of men that try to act bigger than they really are. Think they are so cool spitting out one liners while the rest of us are trying to help others enjoy the game and find good friends in the process. They don’t offer help with decks just try to say you need to net deck and buy or trade for missing cards.

    Magic suffers due to this mentality I’ve been to a store that out right banned another card game cause 6 players watched another steal from the manager and didn’t say anything because that was the culture. To be honest I’d rather play in an all girl group since I know it wouldn’t get so weird, like the pleb boys that show up to FNM. Had one guy get super pissed that I countered his deck so well next two games to shut him out. He complained and tried to call out a win for him but a friend notice called him out and he left a few inches shorter from the store. FNM and competitive events saw one guy pay for 3 of his friends and shut out the top 4 and take all the prize and leave, he did this for a whole month. Kind of sucked and his friends enjoyed playing top level decks and getting him all the prize. Which was more than a box or two worth of packs.

    You tend to accept this as this is the majority of the player base and no one tries to change it. I was lucky a store I frequented did their best to be fair and the players I became friends with a lot of players there. They try to help new players and educate them. The judge was really awesome and could answer every question you had and was super fair. I saw was very chill and a nice place to spend my weekends.

    Best magic games I had was with a closed group of friends not in a store. I wish I had that right now I do miss the game I was introduced to in college. After i graduated I got into the game heavily now I could afford to do so and had lots of fun.

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  7. It’s pretty harsh out there and I’m sorry for that. A lot of the same people who say shit like this are also the guys who will demean anyone after they lose. I don’t know how many times I have had an opponent who loses and continues to talk about why his game was so good and mine was so bad. The only thing that I’m not sure you should be offended about is when they ask you out. Here is my reasoning, a women who plays magic is by definition attractive to a male player because you discover a common ground. This translates into mutual communication that is pleasurable and relatable. Of all the attraction factors when seeking out a boy friend or girl friend this has to be the least offensive and involves a level of respect for your intellect. If they are not being out right rude I would recommend just politely say no and consider it a compliment on your intelligence. That’s just my thoughts please don’t crucify me I’m married and I love and respect the women in my life.

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    1. “The only thing that I’m not sure you should be offended about is when they ask you out.”

      It was probably charming the first time it happened. I would imagine sometime in between the first time and the 55th time it got old.

      I would also bet that the people asking her out don’t handle rejection very well.

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  8. Being pretty much a casual player, when I read about things like this happening at competitive events, it makes me want to stay playing in the casual groups who know me and love me for who I am. But like so many who play this game, I love playing, learning, and improving, so I keep wanting to try those competitive tournaments. So far, I haven’t encountered the same kind of enmity that you encountered, but it is probably a matter of time.

    If I have one criticism, it is that this argument always gets presented in terms of race, gender, or sexuality, which glosses over the fact that bullying, derision, and vitriol don’t always come from the other side of one of those divides. Men “talking smack” to other men is completely accepted and anyone who complains is told to “grow a pair” (a pair of what? Nose hairs? Toe nails? Makes no sense.) without anyone wondering if maybe trash talk should be answered with soap and water. I see my daughter having to deal with this when her friends try to exclude another girl from their group. And these are all girls, so gender doesn’t even enter the discussion.

    The truth is that a lot of people have never been taught, in a way that meant something, that their behavior is not acceptable and that they CANNOT treat someone that way. They are still the tantrum-throwing child, even if they are adults, because they’ve never been made to mature. And what it will take to fix is removing the complacency we feel and the rationalization we exhibit when we see it happening. If it is Nobody’s problem, then unfortunately only Nobody will fix it. And we have to call everybody on it. Everyone has to be held to the same standard. We can’t say, “Treat the girls nicely!” and then think it’s ok to belittle our male opponents.

    “Thumper, what did your father tell you?”
    “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

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  9. Words matter? No. Words only have the power that which you grant them. You chose to get upset. You chose to get offended. And you chose to think that you somehow represented all females. You continue to choose to interpret all negative encounters as sexism. Thus you choose to be a victim.

    You list some small number of supposedly negative encounters with people. Now, how many more encounters were neutral and positive?

    You have a choice. You can move forward in life, choose to not interpret everything as you being some victim and start shrugging off and ignoring the assholes. Or perhaps you wish to wallow around as some helpless victim.

    Assholes exist and will always exist. And trying to change assholes is the most futile endeavor.

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    1. @TawnosWins:

      This blog post points out a common behavior among a substantial minority of Magic players, and encourages everyone to avoid that behavior (and relates the author’s experience with it). Seems totally reasonable to me.

      If the author’s been trying to “wallow around as some helpless victim”, then she’s doing a poor job of it, ’cause a “helpless victim” probably wouldn’t be judging at GPs…?

      Overall, you seem to be saying: “if people are a jerk to you because of your gender, don’t call them out for it, or else you’re choosing to be a victim”. Which just doesn’t make sense to me.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. We all make choices. Speaking is a choice. These people can choose to say nothing, or say something positive. Choosing to be an asshole and demean people strikes me an immature choice.
      The writer strikes me as someone who has gone the polite and civil route while still calling people out on their insensitive behavior.
      At the end of the day we are all adults and should want to treat others with respect and kindness instead being jerks to each other.

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Maybe if Hasbro didn’t market the game as for “older boys” (as per their investor day presentations) and maybe if more than 5% of the cards were illustrates by women (since 2000, go ahead and check the math) then the tone of the game wouldn’t encourage sexist behavior. Everyone always blames shitty players but the reason shitty players think that stuff is okay is because that is the message Wizards sends, no matter how many female Planeswalkers they make (who are always young looking and attractive– god forbid an old woman appear in their game)!

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    1. I disagree, the art direction at Wizards has been healthy and enlightened since at least Theros block. I don’t have numbers on the genders of the artists, but my perception is that there has been increasing diversity in that crew in the past few years. There is incredible diversity in the roles in which women are portrayed, and very few of them are egregiously sexualized. Heck, look at the push for representation we’ve had in the past few years: Guardians of Meletis, Alesha, Ashiok… Wizards is trying to say, via their story and art, that this is a game for ALL of us.

      And have you met Arlinn yet? She’s neither maiden nor crone.

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    2. This comment’s a real cracker. Rather than blame people for their chosen behavior, blame the manufacturer of the game. That’s as inane as blaming a bottle of whiskey for the DUI that you just suffered because of your own stupidity.

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  11. I’ve only just started playing Magic. Before I was even dating my boyfriend, he wanted to teach me. I didn’t want to play. I didn’t want to play because I didn’t know any girls that played. I didnt want to be the only girl in my small circle of friends that played. Back in April, at a Larp campout, I watched my boyfriend play with a couple friends. I was hooked there. So later, when we got back home, I asked him to play with me. I didn’t want him to teach me though. I’m prideful.

    So we played 5 games. Of those 5, I won 4. The first two, I won because I did something wrong that h didn’t correct until after the game was over. I wasn’t happy. I wanted to learn on my own, but I wanted to know when I did something wrong. The 3rd game, he won. After that, I won two more times, these times were legit.

    But I was raised the way those around me were. I questioned whether I actually won or if he let me win. H assured me he played his hardest. I won legit. I wasn’t sure, but I took it and played some more. I won a few more times, and based on the salt I recieved when I did, I won legitimately. and they were mad I beat them. I only found out later that it was slightly cause I was a girl and I had only been playing a couple weeks.

    I always got more cards at walmart, or when I tagged along with my bf and his friends to a game store. So when I went myself, I was already nervous. I got a couple looks, and someone said something along th lines of “Wow, a female magic player, can’t believe it” I bought the things I wanted and left. I didn’t say anything because I am very shy.

    As I left, someone followed me, and gave me card sleeves. They said they bought them when they saw me in ther because they thought I might like them. (They were rainbow unicorn sleeves. Meanwhile, I was wearing all black. I had also just bought grumpy cat sleeves) I thanked them, and then ended up going home. I didn’t think much of it until my boyfriend told me I should have refused them. He was hitting on me. I don’t notice stuff like that. Ive never been one to get the attention of anyone before. I like it that way.

    I haven’t gone back there since then, mostly cause I’m nervous that guy will be there. I havent even opened those card sleeves, and I probably never will. But it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. When I went into that game store, I expected the fact I was a female to affect my visit. It did, and I haven’t even played since. I spent three days making a deck that was all my own, and I haven’t even tested it.

    I don’t know if this matters at all, and i’m sure someone will say I need to suck it up and grow a pair, but that isn’t me. That’s now how I am. I can’t and won’t be able to say anything about it with anything but a laptop, posted on an article about this very thing. I’m a female just starting in the Magic community,and already I feel as if I don’t belong, just because of a few small moments.

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  12. Your last line is writing perfection.

    I’m a non-binary/queer MtG player and LGS employee who is designated/ID’d by the people around me as female, and I’m the first to say that there are a great many guys, especially ones just getting into Magic, who respond really well to a woman teaching them. Guys like girls who speak their language. This said, the amount of casual, unthinking misogyny (and homophobia and ableism – if I never hear the word “autist” again it’ll still be too soon) is far too much, and I am so damn tired of guys casually calling Nahiri a bitch, screaming the c-word on a misplay, calling me “darling” or “gorgeous” (seriously, I’m butch) or flat-out asking me if I know anything about Magic while never asking that same question of the male employees, who are just assumed to be players. (One of the best comments I ever got was, while wearing a Who shirt, being asked by an older man if I knew what TARDIS meant. I’ve never heard a guy get his geek cred checked in this way.) In my job, I’m constantly telling the girls that enter the store that yes, they should buy the pink and purple and aqua sleeves they want, no matter what the guys think, and half the time they still put them back and go for red or blue. When I play, I can often be the only non-man, or one of two, in the room. (When I’m not it’s usually because I’m playing with a female friend of mine.) I’m always wincing as people use the word “gay” to describe something bad.

    I’m always feeling just that bit on the outside.

    I’m outspoken about all this. I call people out on it. The fact is that the only time they listen is when my male supervisor steps in. Decent guys listen to me; the kind of guy who talks like this talks right over me. I can – and I don’t waste time on fawning or being ridiculously polite – ask a guy to stop using the word “gay” and be subjected to it four times afterwards, even though I’m telling him not to each and every time. It’s exhausting and stressful to have to defend my right to be treated decently just because I want to create an environment where everyone who steps into the store feels safe.

    The fact is that I work at an LGS and I’m still anxious about going into new stores even though this is my language, my space, my job, my tribe, my home away from home.

    We need more conversations like this so people understand what it is like to be a non-man in Magic and start to think on the actions they might take to improve the situation. Thank you for the courage of writing this, especially because it opens you up to hurtful, insulting comments of the kind you must get too often, and I’m truly sorry that you got them here.

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  13. This article hits the nail on the head.
    My boyfriend taught me magic right around when M14 came out (I didn’t want to try it because of the stereotypes I had heard about people who play, but now I’m glad I did)

    When I went to my first event (Theros prerelease) I had a mix of interactions. First guy I played noticed I only had the 1 D20 from the prerelease pack and pulled out like 6 D20’s and said “Here you can have these” to which I was extremely grateful since I obviously had no supplies at all. He played against me like any other person and it was a positive experience. Next 2 players all questioned how long I had been playing magic (even though I knew the rules and was playing fine without help) and who taught me (to which I had the quintessential boyfriend response they were probably looking for). Even though I wasn’t pleased by the interaction I used it to my advantage (they underestimated my ability so I beat them soundly). The last player I faced was someone I knew from Computer Science courses in college so he already knew to expect a challenge and play professionally.

    From then on out I’ve had mixed experiences at gamestores:
    Before I had my own supplies (bringing my own sleeves, box of dice, playmat), people constantly assumed I was new to the game and underestimated me. If I dressed “girly”, they underestimated me and questioned how long I played and who taught me. Only now when I bring out my stash of supplies do they question me less and play professionally, but I still get questioned occasionally (not something I see them do to the other male players).

    I had a guy pester me and my BF’s sister (we went to play at events a lot) to examine our decks to “help” us (every time we go without my BF this happens) and insisted that we should come over his house sometime to play magic so we can get better (even though we tried to avoid him and hint that we were not interested). He forced his phone number onto both of us.

    Before I was a regular at my LGS the employees (the male ones) would act like I didn’t know a good card from a bad card and would try to convince me to buy more expensive cards that I didn’t want. They also tried to get me to buy intro decks all the time, as though they thought I didn’t understand the kinds of cards they contain.
    Other customers (all male) will interrogate me if I am ever in the store without my boyfriend. They try to assess my “geek card” by asking what formats and decks I play, quizzing me on the cards I’m buying and what decks they are for, asking how long I’ve been playing, and trying to convince me to buy certain cards.

    How do I know this is sexist behavior? Because when my boyfriend is there they don’t question me (because obviously I’m just blindly looking at cards while my boyfriend does the real shopping, so I have a “legitimate” reason to be there), and they never question the male customers in this way. They get taken aback when I start listing my decks and my commander builds and giving my analysis of cards. ITS LIKE THEY EXPECT ME TO NOT KNOW WHAT I”M TALKING ABOUT AND ITS FRUSTRATING.

    I don’t understand why males are assumed to be genuine nerds/geeks of a game without question (even when they are new to it and asking questions), but females are consistently assumed to be new, “only playing it because of their boyfriend”, or “faking it”. Yes my BF may have taught me how to play, but I keep playing because I LOVE THIS GAME. And I’d really appreciated equal status in the MTG community.

    Like

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